Ever since I can remember I have fantasized about rope.
As a child I remember watching Peter Pan for the first time. When the Pirates kidnapped and tied up Tiger Lily, the image was ingrained in my mind. I anticipated that short scene the entire movie, anytime I watched it. I loved drawing as a child, but while I gave the angel and mermaid pictures to my mom for the fridge, I had my own stash of secret drawings. My favorite picture to draw was of me being tied to trees. I used to feel ashamed of these drawings.
Fast forward to 2005, at Passive Arts Dungeon in LA, my first ever experience in a BDSM setting. I was smitten with the leashes and collars, and was so excited to be made to kneel. I witnessed a flesh hook suspension that made me fascinated and full of energy. But it was not until I saw the rope suspension that I knew I had approached the rabbit hole, and was about to jump headfirst in. That rope suspension changed everything for me. I was intrigued by the rope, and wanted so badly to touch it. When her feet left the ground I felt something deep inside me come to the surface, in the form of tears. I watched in a trance as her body soared and danced through their air above, her beautiful body wrapped in intricate rope bondage, a look of serenity gracing her visage. The image never left my mind, and for 5 years I have dreamed of doing my own rope dance.
About a month ago I experienced my first rope bondage experience. I wrote in great detail of how deeply it affected me and what an incredible experience it was. I reached deep meditations and felt at one with the rope. The rope protected me and kept me safe, yet forced me out of my comfort zone, liberating me from my insecurities and fears. I felt the rope on my skin for days, I breathed it, I craved it, and I yearned for it.
I was fortunate enough to encounter another soul like mine, a woman who felt the same connection and relationship with rope that I feel. Our connection quickly grew stronger as we expressed our passion for the rope, and as I heard her stories and experiences I knew that I was meant to live a life like hers, a life with rope. She saw my potential and my fire, and without wasting anytime, she took me to my dream.
I knew when I saw him that a connection was made. I could almost taste the passion he had for his art, just as I assumed he could feel my ardor and lust for the rope. I felt fear, as I had only one experience. I was not sure if I was ready to be suspended. She who brought me assured me that he would know when I was ready, and so I went forward.
I felt so humble and calm. I had already given my power over to the rope, I was ready to feel it on my skin. He came to me close, and I breathed in the warm energy and feeling of comfort he brought to me. I tried to connect with his energy as we prepared for this experience. I was ready for the rope.
The rope kissed my skin and I shuddered. I felt I had waited a lifetime for this. It rubbed across my skin and I moaned with gratitude. Within minutes I was off in another space, feeling every lick of the rope across my flesh, feeling as my body became more and more immobile. I vaguely noticed the people around me, enthralled by their own intimate experiences, sexual pleasure and sadomasochism creating the backdrop. Then, the rope would command my attention and I would go right back to my world, right back to the connection I felt with the One who governed the rope. I had little desire to look down and examine the work, as its art and beauty was felt by my flesh. I was in a trance, and I felt amazing.
Then the unexpected happened, and I was told to straighten my leg. Confusion went over me as I tried to remove myself from my world temporarily and figure out what was meant. I heard his voice in my ear again and I felt such trust and security. I felt that I was in the right moment and place, at the right time. I was exactly where I should be. I was in a place where nothing can harm me, where I was free to trust and love and feel. I adjusted my leg, and as my body left the ground I felt a release more powerful than any orgasm or climax I can ever imagine. Surprise and shock quickly turned to joy and wonder, as I soared in the air, the rope enveloping me and reassuring me. The images in the room faded away, and all I saw was color and light. Resistance died, and I settled into the experience, allowing it to overtake me and do what it will with me. Finally, my head was thrown back, my hair falling into the air, and I felt a true, genuine, Smile of pure joy and ecstasy crawl across my face. My eyes closed and I laughed. If I did not laugh physically, I was laughing on the inside. I was laughing at the bliss and pleasure I felt, at the freedom and liberation I achieved while flying there in the air, the rope bounding me. I was laughing at my childhood and my past, and all the pain I ever felt. I was laughing because I felt Victory. I felt none of it mattered, it had all faded away. I felt I was being reborn into a new body, one that has had the pleasure of feeling such ecstasy and Triumph. I was laughing at myself as a child, and all the times I had thought of being tied with rope, and how incredible it was that I was experiencing it in such a meaningful way.
Finally, even the laughing faded. Even the smile faded. All that was left was My World. I never felt so true to myself as I did then. I never felt such utter affection and intimacy with myself before. I felt I had reached a space that was pure and innocent, void of pain and judgments. There were no rules or limitations in this place.
I felt his touch and I felt his presence with me on the rope. I knew he was dancing with me in the air, and I knew that the energy in the room had intensified exponentially. I felt his warm energy and cherished the moment that we all three became one. He, I, and the Rope became one entity, one warm bubble of color and beauty, alone in the air, bound by the force of the rope, comforted by its almighty strength and power. Around us energies danced and delighted with sensuality, as we embraced the entity that held us, soaring through the air. It was euphoria like no other.
I don’t remember coming down, or feeling the ropes removed. The rope’s warmth and presence stay on my flesh all through the night. I drifted off into a deep, blissful slumber. I woke up several times thinking I was still bound, and unable to move from my curled up fetal position. Finally I awoke and stretched my body, becoming aware that the rope was gone from me. Emptiness, as if I had lost a cherished friend. Then, I drifted off again into a blissful slumber. I walked on air the whole next day, feeling so tranquil and at peace. I felt healed in some way, and greatly relieved. I felt gratitude to the One who governed the rope, and the One who had recognized my passion and brought me to this experience. I felt gratitude to my Mentor who had helped create this experience. I felt love and respect for the free-spirited, beautiful souls that surrounded me, in all of their naked glory, inspiring me and teaching me. I witnessed incredible climaxes and amazing connections, sensual intimacy and liberated spirits. I was told how beautiful the rope was, and how our dance intensified the energy in the room.
All the while I felt it was a Dream, and when I would realize it happened I would almost burst with love and happiness.
Since that experience I have had more vivid dreams, deeper insights, and more affection for myself and who I am. I believe it helped me reach a higher level of consciousness, and put much into perspective for me. Most of all it was a Dream come true, and something I could not imagine while drawing those pictures as a child, or from watching the beautiful rope dancer that first night. I hope to have many more experiences like these, and I will cherish each and every one with the same respect and passion that I did my first.
Even now, I can feel it’s presence on my skin.
